Putting the Horse Before the Cart

     As a Suzuki music teacher, I often hear: "My child is bored and wants new material". I sympathize with the parent, as I too want to give the student new material. I absolutely love seeing their faces light up when they get to learn something new and move forward. But the Suzuki method is all about teaching character first, then the musical development follows. So let's forget about music for a moment, and take a look at life in general.

    If you put the horse before the cart in real life, what happens? Idioms.in states "Don’t put the cart before the horse by investing in a new shop before selling that old one situated in west of the city." What happens if you get really excited and choose which dress you're going to wear to the party, and then you don't even get invited? Eeks! What disappointment!

  Here are some encouraging quotes from Dr. Shinichi Suzuki himself that apply to this situation:

“Good or evil, beauty or ugliness, daily behavior itself becomes one’s flesh and blood before one realizes it. It becomes habit through repetition.”

“The real essence of art turned out to be not something high up and far off – it was right inside my ordinary daily self – if a musician wants to become a finer artist, he must first become a finer person.”

“Don’t hurry don’t rest. Without stopping, without haste, carefully taking one step at a time will surely get you there.”

“There is no point where we can say, 'This is enough.' Always seek finer music, finer performance. Eventually this will change from a learning attitude to a joyful quest which will last throughout our lives.”

“Knowledge is not skill. Knowledge plus ten thousand times is skill.”

“An unlimited amount of ability can develop when parent and child are having fun together.”

“I am mentally preparing myself for the five-year-old mind. I want to come down to their physical limitations and up to their sense of wonder and awe.”

“Creating desire in your child’s heart is the parent’s duty.”

      I challenge each and every one of you, to find ways to make the mundane interesting again. (I have to do this constantly with my own relationships at home! What makes any relationship, including one with a musical instrument, any different?) I challenge you to get into the mindset of a 3 year old, a 5 year old, or whatever age your child is...and remember what made things fun and interesting for you at that age. If you say to a child “clean your room” do you always, every single time, get a smile and a “yes, mom” or “yes, dad!” I highly doubt it. Does that mean that they don’t have to do it? No! Not at all! Well, music practice is no different. Remember, you are investing money into this! If you want results from that investment, you need to listen to your teacher who is the expert and has been through this many, many times!

     Remember, you’re not really teaching your child how to curve their fingers or how to use “walking fingers”, or how to hold their bow with proper technique… you’re teaching them how to get really, really good at something and take pride in their accomplishment. Then and only then, can they build upon those skills!

      It is not (always) the duty of the teacher, to constantly come up with motivations and creative ways for your child to practice the same thing over and over. We can only guide you (as best we can) and show you where to look, and give you some ideas, but we cannot make you look and learn for yourself. If we ask you to read some material, it is NOT because we want you to waste your time. We know how busy everyone is. We would not give you anything that is not worth your time and that we wouldn’t do ourselves.

     How many times have I asked parents to read the introductory book “Nurtured by Love” and they come back and say “I’m too busy…” and in the next sentence they say “my child isn’t progressing” or “I don’t think she’s/he’s interested anymore….” READ THE BOOK!! You paid for it! When you signed up for Suzuki lessons, you committed to it! If you can't read the whole thing in one sitting, take it step by step! Page by page! That's how we get everything accomplished! Little tiny steps, get you places and keep you moving forward! You cannot expect to learn anything, if you do not take the time to do so. 

     Learning music through the Suzuki method, is about building a relationship. Relationships cannot be built, with cell phones or investments in toys, or with money, or by expecting the teacher to do all the work for you! Relationships are built with an investment of your time and energy. A lot of it!

     If you want your child to learn not to always take the easy way out, be an example! Children learn best through examples! If you're struggling, Suzuki teachers always have an open-door policy! We cannot help you, if we do not know there is a problem! Speak up! We are here to not just help teach the child... we are here to teach you too! But we cannot force you to do anything. We can only encourage you!

How do you get your child to practice repetitions of things they are long bored with? I’d love to hear your ideas! Other parents would appreciate it too and could benefit from your experience!! Have any comments, questions, or constructive criticisms? Please share!!