Think about lessons as your own personal challenge.
a.) They need you to be involved!
Kids under the age of 12, absolutely need their parents to help them remember how to do the technique properly and exactly what they were supposed to be working on. How are you going to show your kid how to do the technique, if you've never done it yourself? How are you going to help them be successful and remember what they should be practicing, if you weren't paying attention in the lesson? (This also shows your child you are not just drifting off into "what am I going to make for dinner?" land. I know, it's super easy to do!)
*In my studio, I usually do not let parents get away with skating by, not participating in the lesson. That being said, I do teach elsewhere sometimes and the parents sometimes drop the children off, or will sit so far away they can't be involved or even listen to the lesson and sit there reading their magazines or whatever. These children are as young as 4-7 years old! Do you really expect a 4 year old to sit down at the piano everyday and go "Okay, I need to practice this, this, this, and this..." (Not going to happen!) Whose students do you think move 3x's as fast and stay motivated because of this?
b.) It is your job to make sure they practice!
Students don't really develop intrinsic motivation until later and sometimes they need help keeping their materials in order too! You are teaching them discipline and habit building strategies. It's just like teaching them to brush their teeth. If they whine and say "but I'm tired" are you going to let them out of it? No! Music lessons can be fun, but they can also be hard work!
c.) Language is powerful!
I probably should have put this first because it is that important. STAY POSITIVE!! The language we use in teaching and with our children in at-home lessons or helping them with their practicing, can have a HUGE impact on a student's self-esteem and motivation. If you internalize nothing else in this post, you will still get the biggest lesson out of it. I will repeat it, because it is SO important!!! "The language we use in teaching and with our children in at-home lessons or helping them with their practicing, can have a HUGE impact on a student's self-esteem and motivation." Stay away from "No" or showing your frustration. Patience is a virtue and if a child is displaying unwanted behavior, it is probably not the child's fault. It is ours, for not addressing it. When we don't address it, we condone it!
d.) Give them time!
Children do not have the same processing power as adults, but that doesn't mean they don't know or can't do it. It is tempting to just take their hands and do it for them, but give them a chance each time, with a little time to think about it! The more they do things for themselves, the better they internalize the lesson. (That being said, if you have to do it for the really little ones for awhile, that's okay too, so long as they don't become dependent on it!)
Also, you may think of something one way, but the child may need you to explain it or show it in a different way. No two people are alike, no matter how close the apple falls to the tree. Instead of saying "no", say "Does that one sound like this one?" or "Does your hand do what my hand does?" or "Try it more like this..." (etc..) Staying positive doesn't just mean giving your child two thumbs up, clapping for them, etc! This means adopting a growth mindset and working hard to learn how to interact with your child while at home. This is not always easy.
Sometimes when you try to show a child how to play something by grabbing their hands, they will get angry and pull away, or plead with you that they don't need you to show them, they can do it themselves. The best way to approach this, is to ask to "borrow" their hand. This gives them the illusion of more control, which they need. Another approach is to say "I know you can do it, but let me help you once and then you can do it by yourself." I think sometimes they think when you help them, you think they are stupid and don't know how to do it, or they think you're going to help them and not let them try to do it themselves. By using "My turn, your turn" approach, you are letting them know that they will get that chance to show you.
These are just a few of many parental strategies to have a successful experience with music lessons!!
Which one(s) will you implement this month?
Happy Practicing to both you & your child!
